Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Over the years, I’ve taken my boys fishing on a lot of area lakes and rivers. The best (meaning biggest) fish ever caught was Schuyler’s 10 inch catfish. Fishing has been pretty much a bum rap for us…we even went to Colorado two years ago to fish; zip, zilch, nada…it was unseasonably hot and the fish weren’t biting for any one.
A little over a week ago, I learned that the hooks, sinkers and bobbers I had on the poles were all the wrong size! No wonder we hadn’t been catching fish!
Monday after school I drove my boys to a trout farm where I knew they’d catch fish for sure. What a gas! They each caught three sizeable trout within 15 minutes! They were reeling them in so fast it was hard to take a picture. Sensing the thrill and excitement of my boys, I thought, every day should be met with the thrill and excitement of catching trout; with child-like wonder and amazement. I began to hear a faint little whisper from my heart; have some fun…go play…let go of your fears, worries, doubts and do what makes you feel like you’re catching your first trout.

On the forest trail during my morning run, I found myself spinning with incessant thoughts, driving myself deeper into the black hole of fear. I kept trying to go back to the feeling of catching trout but to no avail. As the tears flowed, the painful thoughts I was subjecting myself to, began to dissipate clearing the way for a little self-coaching.
As I ran down the trail, a huge Aspen leaf hit me in the chest; nature was sending me a message.
Aspen’s yellow leaves in fall are a reminder that there is still color and sunshine even though the light is diminishing daily…there is always light to shine in the dark areas of your life where fears and doubts hide. Aspen is relatively short- lived (as most of our fears and doubts are when faced) it is one of those trees that quickly takes root in soil and habitats that are harsh and even burned out…it produces itself quickly…its essence helps us face out fears and doubts…calming to anxieties about changes within our life.
The trout, the Aspen leaf…it’s time to let go of my fears and allow the light to shine on the dark areas I have brought into my experience.


Last Thursday, Lucy needed to go see a specialist. Her engine was requiring some re-mapping to stop her back firing; coincidentally, so was I. She spent the morning with one of my favorite mechanics, (whose expertise is Speed) while I spent the time on his (very fast) V-Rod. Being familiar with what he “does” to motors, I was feeling a bit intimidated about riding his bike; my confidence bolstered a bit when he said, “You look hot on that bike!”
My mind started telling me all kinds of stories! “I’ll just take the bike home, do some work, then jump on the interstate when it’s time to pick mine up. I don’t think I’ll be comfortable on this. I’ll just take the side roads home; go nice and slow.” Then the heart voice started coaching…”Feel the fear and do it any way. F.E.A.R. …Future Events Appearing Real. Fear is your imagination getting you to think about what it is you don’t want and what you think about, you bring about. Ride through your fears, one slow small step at a time. You’ve been conjuring up and believing all kinds of fears for the past week about all kinds of things in your life that aren’t even true; change the thoughts to better feeling thoughts! You’ve been writing a book in your head about all the what-ifs and driving yourself into the black hole of despair! Now, drive this black motorcycle right out of that black hole…What would you do if you weren’t afraid? You have an opportunity here, take it! Remember the message of the Aspen leaf and the lesson from trout fishing.”
So, I did. One block at a time, I fed my fears to the wind regarding the bike, my worries and doubts about Life, and I had a blast! I rode for three hours and enjoyed the shit out of it! I was re-mapped, Lucy was re-mapped and we both stopped back firing! That set the tone for the weekend ahead.


The weather this September has made for some awesome riding; three straight weeks of 70’s and 80’s without rain, this past weekend was no exception. I woke up Friday morning with the intention of having fun, determined to feel like I just caught my first trout.
With no plan in mind, I set out on the back roads and just let the bike take me in the direction it wanted to go. In and out, over and about, up and down, again and again and again. Feeling like I was on a roller coaster was no coincidence, the message was now louder and clearer; “Have fun! Do what feels good!”
Hey, what’s going on here??? My kids, the trout, the V-rod, Lucy, the roads…there’s a theme running here…they’re all sending the same message! Have fun! Delight in what ever makes your heart sing! So, I did.


Saturday morning I jumped on the Interstate to make a fast track to the mid-west section of the state to investigate some new roads and continue my own re-mapping. When I choose to feel good and have fun the energy is intoxicating and contagious; I can feel myself vibrating and it resonates off of everything and everyone around me.

Every road I hit was fabulous! Every person I met was friendly. The twists, turns, hills, valleys, autumn colors all had me feeling like I was living on a Candyland game board. Roller coaster road, after roller coaster road…a thrill a minute adventure…over Cooper’s Hill, down Pickle Road, then through the town of Dilly…around Santa’s Loop into (Sugar) Plum Valley, through gooey cow shit, and a little dirt and gravel…down Boot Jack through Pine Valley, Maple Valley, Sleepy Hollow, Happy Hollow, Trippville, Hustler, Ridgeville, Ridge Point, Sky View, and Skyline Drive…I had a freakin’ blast! 400 miles of absolute total bliss! I love catching trout!


The last day of my weekend, I took a little run in the woods before throwing a leg over the saddle. On the trail, I saw a feather; a message that my thoughts, words, and/or actions are on track; the road to freedom. I stopped and picked up the black feather. When I turned it over, the left segment was bright blue and I knew there was an extended message with this feather. The qualities of blue are happy, calm and truth. The flip side or negative aspects are depression and loneliness. The message of the feather affirmed what I had re-learned and lived during the course of the past week; life presents a much brighter picture when you turn over the darkness and look on the other side.

I fired up Lucy and flew off into the wild blue yonder, just to have fun! I love taking roads with unusual names, there’s just something very inviting to me about it. So, when I saw Argue Road, I had to take it. Not a place to be arguing much of anything, particularly your limitations. The road is about an eight mile, narrow stretch of constant curves, coupled with high peaks and low valleys ending at Tunnel Road. How apropos; Argue ends in Tunnel. I love what the road teaches me. I’m choosing to live my life outside of the tunnel; no argument there.

Exeter Crossing caught my eye next, so I took it. OMG! It was the best roller coaster all weekend. I was laughing the entire way up and down. My kids would tell you that road makes their “privates” tickle. The hills were outrageous! Sure would have been a blast on that V-rod…may have made a little more of me tickle!

Up top of those peaks, I could see rain clouds slowly moving in. I meandered through back roads all the way home, with enough time to make dinner on the grill before the rain started. It was the first time I smelled rain in three weeks. The gentleness of the consistent, steady rain lulled me into relaxation and gratitude for the beautiful transformations I witnessed over the course of the past week. Mother Nature is a wonderful teacher when I choose to pay attention in school.

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