Monday, April 26, 2010

Discovering True Love

I feel a soul connection with my motorcycle. The second I touch it, I feel an instant bond, like we’re hard wired for life. I hit the start switch and am instantly one with my bike. The pulsing of her engine and the beat of my heart, coupled with the rhythm of the Earth—all dancing to the song of my soul, the world seemingly stopping as I enter into an almost surreal realm of existence—unite in sacred rhythm. All I feel is pure joy—no expectations, no demands, no judgments—I’m just going for a ride. My energy becomes completely fused with the bike, as if one entity the entire time we are together, in complete harmony with one another’s melody and that of everything surrounding us, dancing as one. Our moves aren’t orchestrated, they just flow and they work beautifully together, as I travel down the road completely immersed in the moment.

I have a lot of fun on that motorcycle. She takes me to all kinds of new places without hesitation or breakdown as we explore new landscapes together. We push beyond our comfort zone a little bit here and there just to watch the magic unfold. There’s no separation between me and that machine, we travel seemingly welded and working in sync with one another, the perfection unmatched—pure nirvana. When we’re apart, due to life’s circumstances and responsibilities, I feel a void within my soul along with a yearning to be in that state of total connection—effortless bliss—exactly what I imagine true love to be.

My soul is constantly yearning for the joy of discovery and my motorcycle satisfies that desire. That bike may be the only true love I have right now, trusting that this road I’m traveling is leading me to a landscape larger than the one I, or anyone else can see.
So, start living like there’s no tomorrow because, really, there never is.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Unlocking Possibility

Mind, body, and soul are in a constant process of evolution. While the mind and body slowly deteriorate with age, the soul’s desire for expansion and growth increase with it.
You are here to experience joy and your soul’s job is to push you in the direction of that joy, always. What may appear to us as pain, misfortune, sadness, etc., is really just a stepping stone necessary to get you past where you are or were, to where you really desire to be—where you belong. It really comes down to having the balls to cross the line when the desire out weighs the illusions of comfort and security.
That’s your soul’s way of screaming, “Can you hear me now?”

Drowning out or ignoring the call is a slow and miserable death. Every time you ignore the call and surrender to mediocrity, security, the norm—status quo--you’re killing off an aspect of your Self. Muffling or shutting out the call promotes premature aging and addictions, pulling you further away from your heart’s truest desires and from who you truly are and want to be. For years I found myself covering it up, shutting it up, choking it off, locking it out—my mind trying to preserve what it knew as safety and security—locking all known doors to freedom, afraid of what that might look like. Thinking everything out there was potentially bad and would never be any better than what I once had. I allowed others to dictate my every move only to find me, in the silence, screaming at myself. I sure appeared messy at first, but letting it all go sure as hell opened doors that would have forever remained closed off to opportunities offering the utmost blissful life experiences.

I spent a lot of time and energy desperately attempting to shut that calling up, lock it out, and keep it away, allowing my conditioned mind to control me, overcome me, and have me believe I was doomed for the worst life had to offer. I let the voices of others dictate my life instead of taking charge of it for my Self. I allowed them to make me responsible for the way they felt—hurt, miffed, or uncomfortable—regarding my choices/desires; demons trying to steal my soul because they believe people outside of themselves are responsible for their happiness and (illusion of) security. I wasn’t placed on this Earth to crucify myself for the sake of another/others. I’m certain I am here to resurrect my Self and fully live life as that Self—the person I truly am—fully experiencing life and truly living it.

The soul longs for a connection to like-minded spirits— kindred spirits—those who reflect and magnify our true essence and lead us to experience and radiate pure love. When we separate ourselves from those connections, the soul yearns for it and seeks it out, desiring nothing more for the Self than to shine purely as itself. It seeks to lead you to the best circumstances and people to make that magic happen for you. Sometimes you just have tell your mind to shut up and listen.

I’ve run the circuit of locking myself into the past, holding onto what felt right and perfect and good, afraid to let it go for fear there will be nothing better. In the process I shut out what could be. Instead of opening the windows and doors to invite possibility, I locked it out.

Forget about the way you thought it should look and open yourself up to seeing it the way that it could be. You may experience an entire world you never even thought possible. You may even like it.

Saturday, April 3, 2010


To me, there are two types of truth. A scientific, provable truth like, if you touch a hot stove, you’ll burn your hand. Then there’s truth sense, felt only by each individual, not measurable by any rational, concrete means—just an inner knowing, an energy force—a sense so knowing to the essential self, and so strong, it just takes over mind—all conditioning, programming, coercion. Mind says a lot of shit. I’ve learned to tell mind to get out of my way so I can follow that force—what I feel to be truth, and just let mind take a back seat. I haven’t mastered it, though I’m getting better. Mind is just doing what it was designed to do. Protect me from whatever it has learned to be bad, dangerous, or immoral.

What I perceive to be truth is not what the majority perceive it to be. Never has. For as long as I can remember, I hid my own truth, let the status quo win over my heart. I buried my “voice” for 45 years, afraid of ridicule, not fitting in, not doing what made others happy, not being approved of for the choices I made. Truth, my truth, makes me tick. For me, it’s a tingling of the skin, rushing through every cell of my body saying, “Yes, this is me!” I know when it’s ticking. It’s undeniable and I have insatiable energy. And I know when I get that ugly, shitty feeling in my gut and my throat starts to constrict, there’s an attempt being made to squelch my truth by my mind, or others’ minds.

I used to place a lot of emphasis on doing what made other people happy, not stirring the pot. I’m through. The emphasis is now on the importance of my truth. If someone doesn’t like what I say, do, or feel, that’s OK. I have spent way too much time trying to make other people happy because of what they felt to be truth.

I have always been an extremely intuitive person. I had premonitions and visions as a kid that freaked people out, especially my mom. I became afraid of them. It took me a long time to recover that—to let it be again, own it, and trust it. Truth to me is when the body/heart/soul says “fuck you” to the mind, jumps on the road, and cranks the throttle. The result—pure, unmistakable joy!

There’s truth of the mind and truth of the heart. We need both to survive. I prefer to place greater emphasis on the truth of the heart, which I believe has its own mind, even if no one else does.